Chuck vs The Impenetrable Wall
by jacdc1993
Summary: The psychological aftermath of Bryce's death- Sarah tries to hide her pain, but Chuck sees right through her and tries to get her to open up. I don't do fluff- at least I don't think I do- but it is a sweet Chuck-Sarah story nonetheless!
1. Chapter 1

**Chuck vs. The Psychological Wall**

This is what I thought could have happened in between season 2 episode 22 and season 3 episode 1. I thought it was a bit abrupt how we went from Bryce's death to Sarah asking Chuck to run away with her, so I thought I would add justification as to why Sarah was so sure she wanted to take the next step with him. This is my first fan-fic. I actually wrote another Chuck one about Chuck waiting for Sarah to wake up in the hospital in season 4 episode 24, but then I saw someone already wrote one like it, so I decided against posting it.

PS I don't know if there's already a story like this out there, being that I only discovered fan-fic about a month ago (and am now TOTALLY addicted) and only made it past page 10 or so in Chuck stories, but w/e.

Oh and… I don't own Chuck.

I thought this was going to be a oneshot, but it was getting kinda long (on my word doc, anyway. now it actually looks kinda short...), so now I'm thinkin' maybe like 3 chapters? Stay tuned!

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><p><em>Chuck watched Sarah's face as she walked into the blinding white room and saw Bryce, her ex-partner and lover, lying dead against the wall. It broke his heart to see her in so much pain. "I'm sorry…" he mouthed to her as the guards closed in around them. His Intersect 2.0 activated, and Sarah and Bryce Larkin were temporarily pushed from his mind. <em>

**The next day…**

"Sarah?" Chuck shyly asked upon finding her in a darkened Castle room completely alone.

"Oh hey, Chuck!" She quickly stood up and brushed her hand over her face and gave him a smile. "What's up?"

"Nothing… I was just…" he looked at her still smiling face and noticed how forced it looked. "I was… I'm just worried about you," he reluctantly admitted. "How are you holding up?"

"What do you mean?"

"Sarah, please. You know what I'm talking about. I'm not stupid."

She sighed. "I know, I know… I'm sorry. It's just that it's part of my job, you know? I need to be able to handle stuff like this. Unexpected things happen. You lose people that you care about, which is why they tell us we shouldn't care at all…" she paused and looked up at him. "You know what? I'm fine. Really. I should go. I'm late for my Orange Orange shift."

With that, Sarah gave him one last bright smile and swiftly brushed past him. Chuck stared after her, feeling completely helpless and downright dejected. He had no idea what to say to her. He just loved her so much, and it hurt him to see her hurting. Yes, he was totally in love with her. Once he said it out loud to his father ("Dad, I love her."), he knew there was no going back. Even though it pained him, too, to lose Bryce Larkin, his old college roommate and friend, he felt even worse at seeing Sarah fall apart as a result of his death.

Footsteps behind him shook him from his reverie. He turned around and saw Casey approaching. Casey nodded respectfully in his direction with a knowing look on his face and continued on to the computers.

Chuck walked up behind him a few minutes later to see him updating Bryce's file, changing his current status to 'deceased.'

Chuck frowned and cleared his throat. "Casey, I'm worried about Sarah."

"Us agents are trained to handle situations like this, Bartowski. Trust me, she'll get over it."

"Yeah, Sarah said the same thing, but I don't buy it."

Casey merely grunted without turning around, so Chuck took that as a sign that their brief conversation was over. Just before he walked out though, he turned around. "You know, I don't care how you guys are trained. No amount of training can prepare you for the loss of someone you care about. No human is strong enough to completely shut off their emotions. Not even spies. Not me, not you, and not Sarah." With that, he turned and walked out.

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><p>Later that evening in Castle, Beckman contacted Team Bartowski. "Good evening, team. Until the higher powers figure out what the next step is going to be regarding the Intersect 2.0, you all will have the next few days off. As for Bryce Larkin's unfortunate death, his Spy Will states that he wished to be cremated, and we will honor that. Agent Walker? You will be the sole decider in what will be done with those ashes afterward, as also stated in the will. That will be all." <em>Beep.<em>

Chuck carefully observed Sarah and watched as she continued to stare at the now blank screen. After a few seconds she turned around and began to gather her papers. She soon seemed to realize that Chuck was still staring at her. "What?"

"Sarah, we have to talk," Chuck said. Casey, realizing what was happening, grunted in annoyance and quickly withdrew from the room.

"Chuck," she sighed, clearly exasperated. She looked firmly at him, "Fine. What do you want to talk about?"

"Not here. Would you like to come to my house later? Or your hotel room? Whichever."

He could tell she was starting to become very uncomfortable. "Uh… why can't we just talk here?"

"Sarah, that's not… no… I'm not thinking like we're going to be all… y'know… I just want to go somewhere comfortable where we can have a nice talk!"

"I know! It's just that…" she quickly shook her head and began in a much stronger voice, "Okay. Chuck, I know what you're going to want to talk about, and I don't think I can give you what you want to hear. We all have our ways of coping. I know you think I'm struggling with Bryce's death, but you have to trust me when I say I'm fine! Yes, we were once more than partners, but that was a long time ago-"

"Not that long. And I remember seeing you a couple years ago at his funeral. You were clearly really upset-"

"Because then our past was much nearer! Though he betrayed me, I was still dwelling on our relationship. I still had feelings for him, and I hated thinking that he would never get a chance to explain himself to me, that I would live the rest of my life with a negative view of him. Chuck, I've grown up since then." She paused after she realized how fast her words were tumbling out and how her eyes were welling up.

"Sarah…" Chuck whispered as he stepped closer to her. She was finally opening up to him. He slowly took her hands in his and pulled her closer. He was surprised when she didn't pull away. Before he could totally envelope her in his arms, she finally pulled back and quickly looked away.

"Sarah, you can talk to me."

Sarah kept her gaze fixed on some object across the room and gave a small smile. "I know, Chuck. And I want you to know how much I appreciate it," she turned her gaze back to his face as they locked eyes, "but really, I'm okay." She took a deep breath, "I'm going to go get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

Chuck, looking entirely unconvinced, gave a little nod. "Yeah. Yeah, okay. See you tomorrow."


	2. Chapter 2

Uhhh… sorry for the long delay… I've been a frequent reader of fanfic, but a very lazy writer. I'm one of those people who gets really annoyed at authors who abandon their stories/ update rarely, and I guess I'm one of those, though this is only my first story, so I don't think I can get that rep yet. Also it's been so long that I forgot my password and how to work this website and was too lazy to try and figure it out. There's that word again: lazy. That's me! But I'm finally back with more! Thanks for reading!

Sidenote: I've been watching the Chuck panel and Zac/Yvonne partying it up together at NerdHQ/Comic Con 2012 (shipping it.), and I swear it's like I've lost my favorite show all over again. I finally rewatched the last scene of the series after a few months of successfully avoiding it and became a sobbing mess again.

**I don't own Chuck. If I did, a movie would be in the works right now. *grumble grumble***

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><p>Minutes passed. Maybe even hours. Time was meaningless.<p>

Sarah sat motionless on the edge of her bed staring blankly at the wall, lost in thought. Her mind swirled with memories of her and Bryce and their thrilling shared past, but she couldn't dwell on one memory for too long, because no matter what, Chuck Bartowski kept crawling his way back into her thoughts. After all, Chuck knew Bryce too. Why was he being so goddamn caring towards her? Didn't Bryce's death affect him as well? Doesn't _he_ need someone to talk to?

Pushing all the other questions from her mind, she finally zeroed in on one: Couldn't he understand that her grief didn't stem entirely from Bryce's death? Bryce was gone, and Chuck's brain was now the host of the Intersect 2.0. He doesn't know the danger he's now in. He's not grasping how much his life is going to change as a result of his stupid heroism. Sarah groaned and fell back onto her bed, covering her face with her hands.

She flopped her arms out to her sides out of frustration. Why the hell did she tell him she was leaving with Bryce? Even then she knew she would never have the strength to follow through. She sadly opened her eyes. "He downloaded the new intersect because of me," she quietly whispered. This was all her fault.

What a mess we're now in…

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><p>"Agent Walker, Agent Casey," General Beckman began, "after much deliberation, we have decided to train the Intersect to be a real spy, to use these new abilities to our advantage, to allow Chuck Bartowski to live up to his full potential. We have a training facility set up with our best trainers and technology in Prague, where he will be departing for in one week. As for both of you, you will both report back to base where you will each receive new assignments. Congratulations for successfully completing the Intersect mission." <em>Beep<em>

Casey grunted and glanced over at Sarah. She gave him a half-hearted smile and turned away to begin gathering her papers.

"It's what he always wanted." Sarah looked up, surprised. "Oh come on, you know how badly he wants to be a real spy. This is his chance to prove himself."

"Prove himself?"

"To you." Smirking at Sarah's stunned expression, he turns and walks away.

She needed to do something. She couldn't stand idly by watching Chuck throw his life away for this. Of course, to Chuck, he would never see this opportunity as 'throwing his life away', but a welcome change to the life he's leading now. He doesn't know how lucky he is in this simple life he's leading: to be able to express his feelings, to have a group of people who care about him deeply. Being a spy will change him into her, and god knows that's not what Sarah wants. She needed to figure something out. And soon.

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><p>Chuck was confused to walk down to an empty table in Castle. Wasn't he just informed of a meeting? Did he have the right time?<p>

"Good evening, Chuck," said a voice. Chuck located its source to be the television screen filled with General Beckman's face. "We have some things to discuss. Please take a seat."

He sat quietly as she talked, concentrating on keeping his expression as even as possible, even though multiple times he wanted to break out into a huge grin. He doubted that was appropriate in a situation such as this, especially if Beckman was being serious about making him into a full-fledged spy.

One hour later, Chuck excitedly walked out of the conference room, brain frantically trying to take in everything he just heard. This was it. His chance to prove himself. Time to leave the Buy More behind and look towards a bright future filled with excitement and adventure.

And then there was Sarah. If they were both spies, there would be nothing holding them back. They would finally be able to be together. Of course he had not seen her since the Bryce incident. That was 3 days ago. He had to go find her.

Not for the first time, he hurried up the steps only to be disappointed to see an empty Orange Orange. He sank down into a seat and stared across the parking lot to the Buy More. He needed to talk to Sarah. Over the past few days it took nearly all of his willpower not to bombard her with calls and texts every day asking how she was doing and if she wanted to talk. Of course he slipped up a few times and found himself calling her cell without a seconds hesitation. A lot of the time he was met with endless ringing, and she never called back, but one time she picked up:

_"Chuck? Hey, what's up?" She sounded fine, but Chuck was attuned to her voice enough to notice that it sounded forced. And like she was distracted._

_"Sarah, hi. Just…. Just I haven't seen you in a while- I was wondering if you wanted to… hang out, or something." He was flustered. He wasn't expecting her to pick up. Everything he had rehearsed in his head to say to her- words of comfort, of support, of love- flew out the window._

_After a moment of hesitation, she replied, "oh! Oh umm I'm actually pretty busy right now. There are a lot of things that we have to take care of. Umm, Bryce and you and everything…"_

_"Yeah, okay. I understand. Sorry for uh, distracting you. I'll let you get back to work."_

_"Sure, Chuck. I'll see you soon."_

_"Sarah wait!" but she had already hung up. Chuck hung his head and not for the first time wished Ellie were home so he could go to her for advice. As it was, she was somewhere in the tropics on her honeymoon enjoying a well-earned break, blissfully unaware of Chuck's emotional turmoil._

Coming back to the present, and down from the high resulting from the news that he was going to be a real spy, he decided he could no longer put off his shift at the Buy More, so he trudged across the parking lot, weighing his options.

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><p>AN: Sorry if this doesn't really flow with the last chapter. I have concluded that it's kind of difficult to create a consistent storyline after abandoning it for a year… Also, sorry it's short. I like the sound of 3 chapters better than 2 =) Let me know if you like it and if I should bother writing the last chapter!


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